What is Grief?

Grief is the emotional response to loss. Every person experiences grief in their own unique way. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There are no rules, no established timeline, no roadmap that guides you through grief. Each person travels the road of grief in their own way, even those who are grieving the same loss.

While there are an assortment of grief theories that may make grief seem like a linear process, that is not the case. Even the theories warn against approaching grief in this way. Grief is more like a rollar coaster ride. Some days you’ll feel like everything is going well and then other days you may find it hard to get out of bed. Both of these are normal responses to grief.

Grief is most often associated with the death of a loved one but this is not the only source of grief. Grief can surface as a result of difficult situations as well as joyous ones. A person might experience grief at the loss of a job, retirement, moving to a new location, a child entering Kindergarten or graduating from High School, breakup of a relationship, marital struggles, the birth or adoption of a child, the conclusion of a big project, a change we didn’t ask for or want, or the diagnosis of an illness.

It’s important to be gentle with yourself when you are grieving. Just when you think you are getting better, something might happen which triggers a return to intense grief. This might be a holiday, birthday, or anniversary; it might be hearing a particular song, eating a meal, or seeing a picture. Over time, these triggers may diminish in intensity but the reality is that grief, especially after the death of a loved one, doesn’t go away. Instead, you discover ways to live with your grief so that it doesn’t paralyze you.

Friend, grief is a normal part of life. It is not something to be ashamed of and it is not an indicator of weakness. Above all, grief is a sign of love. We grieve the loss of the people we love, relationships we treasure, situations we enjoy, and stages in life that were full of meaning.

Grief is real. Learning how to live with grief is a task that we all face. You are not alone! Contact me to explore how I can support and care for you!